What Were The Odds?

What I present here, for the most inappropriate type of scientific comparison, is a probabilistic estimation of my prophecies of June 30, 2006 occurring by random chance.  Honestly, there is no way any of these things could happen by random chance.  They all occurred because I am the Messiah and I said they would happen. 

However, because I am sure you have not heard what I said on the phone to Nicole Scherzinger on that day, here is a listing of the most notable prophecies of that day and some very conservative estimations of those coming true, by chance.

Prophecy Number One.

I stated that Muhammad would visit me a few months after the conversation, during the Marina del Rey Boat Parade, in December.  I said we would encounter each other in person, just outside my home there.  He did precisely that, at the time I predicted.  Yes, impossible by most people’s estimation.  Certain, by my Messianic interpretation.  So, my attempted scientific estimation of this happening randomly: One chance in a trillion.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000,000,000 or 10 12

Prophecy Number Two.

Ten years prior to my conversation with Nicole Scherzinger (who at the time was the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls, which I also stated would soon “implode”) I had described an event which became known by several who heard it as “Finger In The Sky.”  The stars would be “rearranged” in the night sky, and at my insistence, God’s Finger Tip would strike a downward stroke in the sky, beside the four unusually bright nighttime stars no one had seen before.  It sounds like a creative story, and yet just the day after Prophecy One came true, this one occurred exactly as I said.  Impossible by most people’s estimation; a long time coming by mine.  Somewhere between infinity and one would be the chance of it happening by random chance: One chance in a quadrillion.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000 or 10 15

Prophecy Number Three.

Impregnating Christina Aguilera remotely.  This would not be the first time I had impregnated a woman with out having anything close to sexual intercourse with her.  However, this one would be different.  I would do so without ever meeting, greeting, speaking with, or even being in the same room with this woman (if you do not count being in the same auditorium with her during the Back to Basics Tour).  It happened right on time, despite the Lyme Disease handicap I was suffering from, and I also will add that I predicted a boy born on my late Mother’s Birthday.  Christina delivered the boy, and absolutely nothing at all since.  I know, not at all what you might expect from Jesus.  Sounds more like Jesus on LSD.  So again, impossible or certainty depending on whether you were unaware or you are me.  My estimation of all of that happening randomly: One chance in a billion.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000,000 or 10 9

Prophecy Number Four.

The earthquake in Haiti of 2011.  Nicole Scherzinger’s friends had “knowledge” of Cyclone Nargis in the first half of 2006, or earlier.  I made it absolutely clear that this type of “forecasting” was a violation of God’s commandments.  People this wicked do not understand.  I had to trump them with something they do understand; a “bigger disaster” which meant more people dying than their prediction.  I take no satisfaction in describing this one.  It is painful for me to even think about.  This is presented to exhibit the most unflinchingly honest record of what I said would happen.  It did not have to happen like this; but then a lot of other individuals over the decades could have made a difference.  They failed; and so this massive earthquake happened, where, when, and of the magnitude I predicted.  Earthquakes happen in this region all the time, so this estimation could have been calculated by seismologists or other mathematically inclined individuals.  My estimation of being right about its occurrence: One chance in a million.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000 or 10 6

Prophecy Number Five.

Big Butter Jesus gets struck by lightning.  Nicole said that she heard someone else say they believed Jesus was going to be struck by lightning.  She wanted to know if I knew about that; if I could foresee myself being struck by lightning.  The mere notion of this was preposterous; but I patiently explained why I was not going to be struck by lightning.  However, as the conversation continued, we began to discuss this “Jesus Monstrosity” that was erected by a highway.  I came to the conclusion that the “Jesus struck by lightning” was not going to be me, but this one that so many people found so repulsive.

I explained that this large statue had the properties of a lightning rod.  The core was metal attached to the ground, making a good conductor.  Also, since it was placed near a small body of water, the wood and styrofoam would be damp and also increase its conductive properties.  I dubbed it “Lightning Rod Jesus” and said it was inevitable that it would be struck by lightning.  Additionally, since the fibreglass outer shell would trap the heat of a lightning strike, I also stated that this thing would burst into flames and become “Burning Man Jesus.”  All of that came to pass.  For some people this might sound like a rather well thought out scientific probability; to others it might sound like a Messianic curse on the evangelicals who have gone too far astray from all of my teachings.  Not at all impossible, regardless of how you look at it:  One chance in a million.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000 or 10 6

Prophecy Number Six.

For those of you who are NOT aware of the words and strokes that have changed in everyone’s copy of Scripture without any person or devices doing so, this one should be a complete surprise.  I stated that everyone’s copy of Genesis would change at Chapter Six, Verse Four.  The verse would be augmented to describe more than one visit by the Nephilim, before the Flood and afterward.  I stated this would occur within one year of my uttering this prophecy.  My copy changed exactly as I described eleven months later, and so has every other copy, in every language all over the world.  This is physically impossible; it violates all natural laws that we know of.  However, the Most High, Blessed be He, who called all that we can see and that which we cannot into existence, can do as He pleases.  So again, somewhere between one and infinity: One chance in a trillion.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000,000,000 or 10 15

Prophecy Number Seven.

This one is highly unusual, as if the others are not.  Several years ago, I had read in the graphic novel “Heavy Metal” a tale about a person you might describe as “record producer Jesus” driving in his car, being shot at, and the shots deflecting off his vehicle.  This graphic depiction was based upon a dream that a preacher of a small congregation in Saint Anthony, Pecos County Texas had.  On June 30, 2006 I stated I would drive down this gauntlet on Interstate 10, the projectile would be much larger than a rifle bullet, and I would miraculously survive.  What was probably the most foolish thing I have ever done, as it is absolutely a violation of my exact admonition of two thousand years before (“Do not test the Hand of God”), occurred in February 2007.  Impossible, but I said I would fulfill this prophetic dream just a few months before.  Conservatively: One chance in a billion.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000,000 or 10 9

Prophecy Number Eight.

I spoke at length on June 30, 2006 about the Glowing Beads Necklace prophecy.  I related the story of when I learned about it while I was in high school and the nice elderly woman who was inhabited by a divine being that told me about it.  I also mentioned the paintings at that church function that showed what they would look like after I made them and arranged them in different shapes.  All came true in 2007.  So what are the chances that the green seed beads I bought in Santa Monica would spontaneously achieve the ability to glow in the dark?  Not very likely: One chance in a billion

Numerically: 1,000,000,000 or 10 9

Prophecy Number Nine.

Another reference I made to on this fateful day was my previous trips through an extremely unusual phenomena I humorously refer to as “The Cloud Tube.”  I promised that my return trip from North Carolina to Los Angeles would also proceed through his bizarre phenomena and that there would be a substantial time savings on this trans-continental flight.  My expected co-passenger, a shape-shifter who apparently has a loyal following in the Far East was there, as was his girlfriend who bore the strange puncture wounds in her lips.  I knew it would happen, but the chance that a solidly round cloud tube might appear in the air when I said and hasten the trip: One chance in a million.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000,000 or 10 6

Prophecy Number Ten.

I was reminded by shape-shifter Nicole Scherzinger that my Dad was a shape-shifter and that there was a belief that I could make his irises change color instantaneously with some kind of device, like a taser.  I believe this is the case with shape-shifters in general, and I reminded Nicole that my Mother had seen my Dad’s eyes do this many years before when she had an argument with him.  Why would I, the Messiah, need some kind of artificial means to get my Dad’s irises to change?  He was a very stubborn man, and just getting him to the point of listening to me long enough for this confrontation to take place was a substantial effort on my part.  It felt like my “world” came crashing down all around me when it happened, but it did happen as I said it would.  The odds of Ted Tobias’s irises instantaneously turning sky blue by chance: I’d say about One chance in a thousand.

Numerically: 1 in 1,000 or 10 3

Therefore, the cumulative odds of all of these prophecies coming true by random chance would be:

Adding all the “power of 10” exponents:

12 + 15 + 9 + 9 + 6 + 6 + 12 + 9 + 9 + 6 + 4 = 97

Numerically written as:




or 10 97

Just so you understand…

that is a number that is higher than the total number of fundamental particles in the observable Universe.


Now what do you think?

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