I am happy to report that I have reached “square one.” Last week, I was able to secure a new apartment to live in; the first time I will be living on my own in over six years. Even typing that gets me a bit emotional.
I had been told by this leasing company, when I inquired about another apartment a few months ago, that I need a co-signer. I have no family left to speak of and no good friends I could depend on to do that. I really needed to do this on my own. When I saw this place available about two weeks ago, advertised by the same company, I offered to pay a few months in advance because I knew they were already open to renting to me. The agent countered the owner would be interested in a larger deposit. Since this would be refundable under the same terms as a one month deposit, and would be about the same total expense as my offer, I agreed. I will get the keys in about a week, after new paint and carpet are finished.
I am very excited about it. I am looking forward to departing from the increasingly chaotic and toxic environment I have resided in for four years. My housemate would best be described as a “belligerent skidmark” and I really do have a limit to my patience. He has been completely unreasonable, and his proclivity for acting out has only gotten worse.
This move will be expensive as I have lived in a furnished room and will be filling this small apartment home with new furniture. I had saved up for this move, but I admit that dropping a large chunk of my savings on new furnishings has made me a bit anxious. There is still a lot more spending ahead (kitchenware, appliances, and so on) but I should be able to afford it all.
If some of you might be wondering, “Why can’t the Messiah find the goodness in this guy and make everything wonderful?” then I think you have missed the point. Some people have eyes, but cannot see and ears, but do not listen. In terms you might also understand, this guy is an addict in the worse sense; he’s miserable and can only seem to make everyone else around him miserable. Anything I might do to explain this to him will only make him more belligerent. On some level, I do feel sorry for him, but I can tell you with absolute certainty; all of his issues are self-inflicted. He has a warped sense of what his place is. He has told me he thinks he is going to take Satan’s place in Hell. I have to restrain myself from laughing at how pathetic that is.
Who’s delusional now?