Incredibly to me, I am 50 years old today.
I did not believe I would make it this far. Considering all the things people told me over the years, I expected my life to turn out differently. I understood I would have to make so many sacrifices for the good of the world that I would not be able to survive.
My life has been an ongoing process of figuring it out: a strange path of reconciling so many predictions, forecasts of the future, strange clues and things other people wanted. As it stands today, the most notable thing I’m left with is the Thunderbird. The car is up and running. However, for a vehicle that I essentially let sit for over a year and a half, it’s costing me a pretty penny to get it back to being serviceable.
What is most satisfying to me is that I feel my integrity is still intact. Despite wasting so much money and effort, I have not sold out. I swore not to submit to my enemies and go along with what everyone else thinks or expects. I really do not care what religious leaders have taught you. Overall, they have not told you the real truth and they will all be judged accordingly for these omissions.
Even in recent days I’ve tried to explain things to people whose eyes are closed and whose ears are shut. I may not do that every day but I think you can understand that if I offend or alienate too many people I will be living on the street again. I’ve been there and done that and I can say from experience most people cannot appreciate what I learned from that experience. It cost me all of my friends and my sobriety.
Soberly and unflinchingly, I tell you I really do not know what the future holds for us exactly. I am at the point where I feel I accomplished everything I had set out for me by God and I am doing my best to simply enjoy being alive now. I am also at the point where I feel I have stagnated where I am and will be doing something soon to shake things up.
Of course, I will keep blogging about my experiences and if anything remarkable, let alone miraculous happens, I’ll be sure to let you know.