Another, “Meanwhile, across the pond. . .”

Guess who looked good the other night

When I have a few minutes free I often look to see what certain people are up to.  I look for the type of articles that get a fair amount of exposure while I’m basically rotting away.  Here is a perfect example of how someone like “the wife” maintains her way of life.  She is often attending events that the media uses to promote itself.

(Click on the link above to also see the photos and videos.)

She has wowed fans week after weekly with her stunning looks on The X Factor.
And on Tuesday night Nicole Scherzinger put her fashion powers to use yet again at the Cosmopolitan Ultimate Women of The Year Awards 2012 with VO5.

I assure you, in the big picture sense, this event is an over-hyped pile of nonsense.

The 34-year-old singer made a dazzling entrance wearing in a daring white dress as she arrived at the Victoria and Albert Hall, London.

Note; sloppy grammar right from the start.

Nicole led the way for a whole host of stars stepping out in black or white ensembles, looks which proved popular with many of the attendees.  The former Pussycat Dolls singer teamed the figure-hugging dress with a pair of hot pink heels, a colourful addition to the ensemble.  Nicole also wore a fuchsia shade of lipstick and had her long dark tresses tumbling down around her shoulders.

Notice how the article about this event reveals itself as a pile of nonsense, too.  It begins with a description of what Nicole looked like.  Nicole is “easy on the eyes” as some have put it before.  I never denied that.  But if you write an article that begins as this one does, it should be obvious to anyone:  you are a member of Nicole’s publicity department, whether you accept it or not.

The X Factor judge easily outshone her colleague Tulisa Contostavlos, who failed to show off her fabulous figure to its full extent, in an unflattering canary yellow frock.
But while Tulisa may have suffered a slip in the style stakes she did manage to scoop a gong at the bash and was presented with the Ultimate TV Personality Award.

I’m not sure how to spell it, but insert “the catty, cat noise” here.  Also, if I know her as well as I do, Nicole simply waited until after the festivities closed to “scoop a gong.”

As she took to the stage to accept her award, the Young singer noted: ‘For the first time in many nights I’m actually sober! Giving myself applause for that!’

The X Factor judge thanked Cosmopolitan for putting her on the cover of the magazine and apologised for dying her blonde hair back to brunette just before it was published.

Not drunk tonight, Tulisa?  I suppose we should be honoured as well as impressed.

She dedicated the award to her PA, ‘My trusty steed Gareth Varey, who broke his leg last night and he’s still here!’

Nicole was also honoured with a trophy and was named Ultimate Fun Fearless Female by the magazine at the star-studded bash.  The singer’s X Factor finalists presented her with her award and she said: ‘It made it so much better to have my little pumpkins up there giving it to me. They’re just so sweet, it makes me so happy, God bless ‘em.’

“Ultimate Fun Fearless?”  Does that even mean anything?  This is a very creative euphemism for “Biggest Media Whore We Can Get To Attend”, as far as I can tell.

But she also shocked the audience as she recounted the inspiration behind her many references to ‘balls’ on the X Factor.  Nicole brought the house down as she revealed the inspiration came from Golden Girls star Betty White.

White once asked: ‘Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive.  ‘If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.’

I am not at all surprised Nicole garnered some extra print space by explaining her frequent gonads references that night.  However, since she attributes it to Betty White, that’s okay, because we all love Betty White.  Right?

Speaking to MailOnline at the event, Nicole expressed her support for all the X Factor contestants – and her belief that all of the contestants would go on to have successful careers in the music industry, even the ones voted off.

She said: ‘Everyone’s going to be okay, we have such a talented, amazing group this year. And I plan to be there for all my boys, even when the competition is over.’

At this point in the article, I threw up a little.

There was no shortage of bold black or white looks on the red carpet and it appears many guests had a similar idea to Nicole.  Tulisa’s act Ella Henderson opted for a summery white dress from River Island with lace and beaded detail, which she teamed with a pair of opaque tights and glittering heels.

Heidi Range looked lovely in a flowing black gown, showing off a fishtail skirt and a plunging lace panel around the neckline, upping the ante in the glamour stakes.

Team GB gold medallist Jessica Ennis stepped out in a fitted white dress with a bow detail sitting just under her bust for a stunning look.

Ultimate Newcomer Zawe Ashton wore one of the most daring dresses of the evening as she stepped out in a design by Hussein Chalayan, the person behind Lady Gaga’s famous egg outfit.  Kimberley Walsh bucked the black and white trend in a mint green gown by Brazilian designer Patricia Bonaldi.

Being the perceived leader of the “fashion parade” is what makes her Fearless?  Or is it Fun?

The lavish awards bash was hosted by mother-to-be Fearne Cotton.  Ahead of the ceremony the DJ said: ‘I’m so happy to be hosting Cosmopolitan’s Ultimate Women Awards.  I’ve hosted for six years now, and each time we get to celebrate the most incredible women who have shown earth shattering amounts of courage, love, bravery, and strength. I’m inspired and humbled year on year.’

The pregnant Radio 1 star acted as one of the judges in the real-life categories of the awards along with Britain’s Got Talent panellist Alesha Dixon, Professor Green, Katie Piper and Karren Brady from The Apprentice.

Fearne showed off her growing baby bump in a black less dress with a multi-coloured pattern and stepped out in a pair of towering fern green platform heels.

While there might have been a strong focus on the fashion, the bash was held to honour and celebrate exceptional females.

The winner of the Editor’s Choice award proved to be an extremely worthy one, Stephanie Kercher, whose sister Meredith Kercher was brutally murdered in Perugia, Italy five years ago, picked up the award.

Stephanie has devoted herself to supporting her parents in their fight for justice. As the only Italian speaker in the family, she has travelled back and forth to Italy to liaise with the Kercher’s legal representatives, and has given up her job and moved back to Surrey to be closer to her parents.

She said: ‘I’m very pleased to be here. I dedicated my award to my sister and I hope to keep her memory alive and keep going for her really.’

‘My parents are very proud. It’s a nice award for everyone, especially with the fifth anniversary (of Meredith’s death) this week.’

Finally we find some consequence and value in this evening.  Celebrating a woman who is fighting for justice!  No question about it; that is of utmost importance in life.  Perhaps this award will help her in her struggle.  However, I’m not sure what else she got except a big chunk of Plexiglas and schwag, like everyone else did.

Multiple gold medal-winning swimmer and cyclist Sarah Storey was named Ultimate Paralympian.

Stars of the small screen were not forgotten with Vicky McClure, star of This Is England and Line Of Duty, picking up the title of Ultimate UK TV Actress while Fresh Meat’s Zawe Ashton won the Ultimate Newcomer

The Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence scooped the Ultimate Film Actress award.
Reality TV stars the Kardashian sisters – Kourtney, Kim and Khloe – were named Ultimate Confidence Queens and TV presenter Kelly Osbourne won the Ultimate Style Icon award.  Chart-topping boyband One Direction were named the Ultimate Men of the year, after a hugely successful year in which they became huge in the US.

Here is where the alert flags should start flying for you.  Any time there is a need to include celebrating the Three Pigs (aka the Kardashian Sisters) then you should know this is where you start to peak on the “Superficiality Meter.”

Although the band couldn’t make the event, Harry Styles recorded a video message which was played to guests.

He said: ‘We cannot believe we’ve been voted Ultimate Men of the Year because most people still say that we’re boys.’

Following Britain’s triumphant Olympic summer, gold-medalist Jessica Ennis was awarded the title of Ultimate Olympian, while silver-medalist Louis Smith, currently starring in Strictly Come Dancing, was declared 2012’s Ultimate Hottie.

Cosmopolitan Ultimate Women of The Year Awards 2012 winners
Editor’s Choice – Stephanie Kercher
Ultimate Olympian – Jessica Ennis
Ultimate Hottie – Louis Smith
Ultimate Paralympian – Sarah Storey
Ultimate UK TV Actress – Vicky McClure
Ultimate Film Actress – Jennifer Lawrence
Ultimate Newcomer award – Zawe Ashton
Ultimate Confidence Queens – Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian
Ultimate Style Icon – Kelly Osbourne
Ultimate Men of the year – One Direction

Oddly, the article ends by leaving Nicole, and her award, off the list.

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