To Do List For Jesus Freaks

for April 5, 2010

1. Wake up!

2. Determine if the Church you are a part of is really a synagogue of Satan.  Leave it if it is a synagogue of Satan.

3. Make sure all your other Jesus freak friends know that Benjamin quien Jesus, el R 13 de Los Angeles, el Coyote y el Salvador is Papi el Cristo Realmente.  If not, tell them the truth.

4. Make sure all your Jesus freak friends are aware of the works of the Holy Spirit; the changes in EVERYONE’S SCRIPTURE.  These include, but are not limited to, the removal of the evil Benjaminite kings, the rewriting of Genesis chapter 49 verse 27, the shortening of the oracle Book of Daniel, the augmentation of Genesis chapter 6, verse 4 and the clarification of Holy Matrimony (Genesis Chapter 2 verse 24).  If your friends deny this, tell them they will go to Hell.

5. Tell your friends, and everyone else you know, there are some very dangerous impostor Jesus guys and they have to die.  Bring them to Benjamin quien es Jesus or kill them yourself.

6. Send a nasty letter to Christina Aguilera.  Tell her she is the epitome of SLOTH.  She is worse than Kamil who killed Biggie Smalls, because she got rich and famous in the world Jesus saved, who put a bun in her oven and then left him for dead.  Inform her we are all suffering for her egregious sins, because worst of all, she broke the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  She did not learn the lessons of Kamil, Janice, or Nicole.  Tell her Jesus has a very low opinion of her because she is a worthless and terrible slut; a wig, five pounds of makeup and an altered body.  An evil she-clown.

7. Pray for forgiveness.

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This entry was posted in aliens, California girls, cat, Christina Aguilera, cute, disasters, God, house, Jesus, Messiah, prophecy. Bookmark the permalink.

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