Gospell According to Debbie (Humor?)

was originally posted on April 7, 2010

 

I have been doing some research on what is one of the biggest cover-ups of all time. A Gospel that was written around the time that the others were written. It was composed by a teenage girl who was known as “Debbie.” There is scant evidence as to why this Gospel was not included with the others in the New Testament. Apparently there was some consideration given to it but, it was determined the four famous ones were considered sufficient. Perhaps because the other writers were older men and this Gospel was composed by a young lady was the reason that it was discredited. I am not saying that this Gospel must be considered but I am sure it is of interest to people who might want to judge its validity and maybe discern something more about the life of Jesus.

I am not a trained translator. There are some possible inaccuracies here, but having said that, I wanted to present the Gospel according to Debbie and let some of its secrets be revealed.

Gospel according to Debbie

1 Okay, there was this woman named Mary and she was really cute but totally broke and she married this guy named Joseph. They didn’t have any money or anything and so they were, like, wandering around looking for something to do. I think they wanted to be farmers or something.
2 One night Mary was outside and just hanging out or something and this angel comes up to her and she’s all like “You’re gonna have this baby.” And Mary’s all like “Okay.” And then the angel was all like,
3You’re gonna have this baby without ******** ****.” And Mary was all like, “Wha?” And the angel was all like “No, seriously you’re totally gonna have this baby and you’re gonna name this baby ‘Jesus’” So Mary was like, “Seriously? How do you know these things?” And the angel was all like, “It’s totally gonna happen. God told me to tell you this because He like knows everything, He made everything, and He’s totally awesome.”
4 And Mary was totally blown away. She’s all “I, like, just married this guy, Joseph.  What am I supposed to tell him?” And the the angel was all “He’s gonna be totally cool with it, fershur.” And Mary was like “How do you know these things?” And the the angel was all “Because God told me to tell you.”
5 Mary then tells Joseph “Okay, you’re not going to believe this but this angel totally came up to me and told me I was having a baby.” And Joseph was all “Are you serious? And Mary’s all “She said I did not have to sleep with you and we would call him “Jesus,” Is that okay? And Joseph was all “Yeah. That’s totally awesome!”
6 Mary’s all “You’re not mad? I thought you’d get mad or something” And Joseph says “No. I’m totally cool with it.” And Mary was psyched and said “Wow! The angel said you were gonna be totally cool with it and you are. That’s so awesome. She was right.”


There is quite a bit more work to do on this project but I thought I would share what I had so far so that you would know I was still on the job of explaining Scripture and clearing up all the misunderstandings and making everything totally perfect for everybody.

You’re all totally awesome!
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This entry was posted in California girls, Christina Aguilera, God, Jesus, love. Bookmark the permalink.

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