Jesus vs. the Stuntwoman

from my old blog’s posting on March 20, 2010

Back in 1995.

I explained the story, the most important one about Danielle Burgio, in the blog post “The Alien Book Danielle Burgio Stole.”  This is a bit of the story that happened before that.

It would be a complete understatement that things started getting weird after I moved in with Geoff on Canton Drive.  We really got along well but before I could blink there were so many people involved in this story it would be difficult to keep them straight without a program.

At some point, Geoff finds Danielle at the Mulholland Dog Park.  To say she was a typical Hollywood type would also be an understatement.  The first night she came over Geoff had asked me to leave so he could be alone with her.  Somehow, before I drove off she came bounding up the driveway and we exchanged glances ever so briefly.  Incredibly good looking, lithe, and deadly.  I knew she was trouble.  I had the feeling this story was going to take a turn for the worse.

Again, there was so much going on at that time there would probably have to be a trilogy written just about that year.  But there isn’t time for that here and I just want to get to this one scene.

I was definitely trying to steer clear of her if I could but the way plans went, not mine but Geoff’s, he wanted me to be friendly with her.  Hollywood and the rest of the world in some ways are not that different: everyone is trying to get their own agenda accomplished without surrendering too much.  Hollywood just seems to have the most intriguing cast of characters, for obvious reasons.

At one point during the year I read some of Danielle’s poetry.  I thought it was quite good, quite expressive, with really solid images but very dark.  About as “Goth” as it could get.  It stirred something inside me and I realized that I had not written much lately.  In my spare time I started to write some more  and since I credited her with arousing this within me I decided to share it with her.  Perhaps you could conclude a lot of people get trapped in the “Black Widow’s” web.  Maybe I was stung and had not realized it yet.

This one night she came over and everyone else left to leave us alone.  I really just wanted to talk.  I wasn’t making any “moves” but wanted to discuss writing.  Maybe, if you still see me as the “hero” of this story you would understand I was trying to get her over to the “good” side from the “bad.”  But there is always a lot of resistance in these situations so I knew there was going to be some danger.

After she and I spoke for awhile I sensed it was time to conclude this evening.  Knowing her boyfriend was this incredibly well built body sculptor, think of him as the “Anti-Christ Impostor,” I was taking a risk this guy would get jealous.  He was very possessive over Danielle even though he was currently married to someone else.

I thought that night had concluded well as I stood outside the front door and Danielle started down the sloped driveway.  Then she unexpectedly executes a sharp pirouette and lunges for me.  She jumps on me, wraps her arms around my neck and plants her lips on mine.  This might sound romantic but it was more like a lip lock; her lips pining my lips closed.  I held on to her for a moment thinking she was going to release.  She didn’t; she remained locked on tight.  I tried to pucker, but couldn’t.  Her face was planted so tightly on mine I could not even breath through my nose.  It felt like I was suffocating.

I remember trying to push her off me and moaning a stifled “Mmhph! Mmhph!” but she wouldn’t release.  Before I became too asphyxiated I clutched under both her arm pits and lifted her off me.  I took in a quick breath or else I would have collapsed.  As the air rushed into my lungs and I let her down slowly, I tilted my head to the left and kissed her on the neck, then set her on the ground.

She seemed to enjoy this little episode.  I thought it was insane and completely verified my very first impression that this “bad girl” was nothing but trouble.  Maybe what I was doing would turn out for a greater good but I was risking a lot just being alone with her.  She’s a marital arts expert.  She could knock me out at any time.  As she drove off I made one of my mental notes to keep my guard up at all times around her because not doing so could be fatal.

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