a gift from the Messiah on December 24, 2009
Brad: Honey? Is that you?
Angie: Yeah. What a day.
Brad: What’s going on?
Angie: My doc was really being a pain today. How do my lips look?
Brad: Great. Uh, luscious.
Angie: Can’t you see the needle exit marks?
Brad: Here. Let me smooth those out.
Angie: Knock it off. You’re acting kinda strange. Are you getting stoned again?
Brad: No, I swear.
Angie: Have you started packing our bags yet? We’re visiting a million starving kids this Christmas and we are giving food to all of them. After we clear some land mines.
Brad: Oh shit, I forgot.
Angie: Where did all the caviar go? Don’t tell me you ate it all.
Brad: I was really hungry!
Angie: Because you have the munchies?
Brad: Please. I told a tabloid we don’t argue anymore. Try to keep it down.
Angie: You can’t shut me up that easily. Let me use your phone.
Angie: My assistant borrowed mine. She wanted to use the camera to take some pics of the paps shooting me. I don’t fucking believe this!
Angie: YOU’VE BEEN TEXTING JEN AGAIN, YOU ASSHOLE. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO END?
Brad: She’s really upset. The John Mayer thing and all that.
Angie: Why did I marry you anyway?
Brad: Uh, we’re not married. We just have bunch of kids. We’re not getting married until all gay people can get married.
Angie: I’m leaving. Get some Visine and get those bags packed. I need to go get photographed again.
Brad: Where are you going to be?
Angie: The Ivy or Fred Segal.