At Home with Brangelina

a gift from the Messiah on December 24, 2009

Brad: Honey?  Is that you?

Angie: Yeah.   What a day.

Brad: What’s going on?

Angie: My doc was really being a pain today.  How do my lips look?

Brad: Great.   Uh, luscious.

Angie: Can’t you see the needle exit marks?

Brad: Here.  Let me smooth those out.

Angie: Knock it off.  You’re acting kinda strange.   Are you getting stoned again?

Brad: No, I swear.

Angie: Have you started packing our bags yet?  We’re visiting a million starving kids this Christmas and we are giving food to all of them.   After we clear some land mines.

Brad: Oh shit, I forgot.

Angie: BRAD!

Brad: What?!?

Angie: Where did all the caviar go?  Don’t tell me you ate it all.

Brad: I was really hungry!

Angie: Because you have the munchies?

Brad: Please.  I told a tabloid we don’t argue anymore.  Try to keep it down.

Angie: You can’t shut me up that easily.   Let me use your phone.

Brad: Uh…sure.

Angie: My assistant borrowed mine.  She wanted to use the camera to take some pics of the paps shooting me.  I don’t fucking believe this!

Brad: Huh?


Brad: She’s really upset.   The John Mayer thing and all that.

Angie: Why did I marry you anyway?

Brad: Uh, we’re not married.   We just have bunch of kids.  We’re not getting married until all gay people can get married.

Angie: I’m leaving.  Get some Visine and get those bags packed.  I need to go get photographed again.

Brad: Where are you going to be?

Angie: The Ivy or Fred Segal.

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