I went about this all wrong

shared on July 13, 2009

I should have been a lot more like the rest of you.  I would have been much more successful.  Who ever said being good was worth anything?  Ethics, bah!

Here is what I should have done if I wanted to be successful:

Not listened to God at all.
Had the black dot surgically removed from my face.
Get man-made tattoos.
Lie, cheat, steal, kill.
Burn Bibles.
Be generally hostile to everyone.  Go around looking for trouble and start fights.
Have all my teeth removed and replaced with fake teeth that are sharp.
Have extensive plastic surgery.
Color my hair all sorts of colors.
Spend most of my spare time in the gym.
Use more and stronger drugs of all kinds.
Mutilate myself with dozens of piercings.
Take up cock sucking.

Everything would have turned out better.

Maybe get a sex change?

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