Gloria vs Xtina

for July 4, 2009

Gloria: Waited 25 years for her. Knew who she was in a heartbeat.

Xtina: Waited 10 years for a blowjob that never came.

Gloria: Put my arm around her shoulders and felt something miraculous.

Xtina: Never saw her unless I went to her shows.

Gloria: Became pregnant up close, personal and immaculate.

Xtina: Impregnated remotely and apparently, messier.

Gloria: Terminated pregnancy without my permission.

Xtina: Had child per my instructions.

Gloria: Showed up at the dog park day after day, week after week, month after month in order to help me save the world.

Xtina: Did nothing while people tried to kill me. Is now over two years late showing up.

Gloria: Refused me and forgiveness. Was killed sometime later.

Xtina: I want to kill her now.

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