La De Da

posted March 16, 2009

Before I talk about this funny recent encounter I just want all my fans to know (not the ones in Heaven, but the ones I believe I have on Earth) that on June 30, 2006, I got into a brief discussion about John Adams.  As I remember it, before I predicted the change in Genesis Chapter 6, Verse 4. 

In short, he might be the most overlooked of the Founding Fathers being nestled between Washington and Jefferson.  He was a very important person in US history and might, if he were alive, have a bit of “what about me?” attitude.  Why do Washington and Jefferson get so much MONEY with their likeness on them and not him?  He would FREAK when he saw Hamilton on the TEN DOLLAR BILL because he really despised him.  A mini-series or movie on his life would be very interesting and a good way of paying tribute to one of the smartest of our original patriots.  Turned out pretty well, huh?  See what a good idea can bring?

I have been limping along here and there and needed a gallon or so of gas to keep going.  I exit my vehicle and walk around a very large Black Chevy Tahoe.  As I get to the doorway, Diane Keaton walks out. Diane is driving the massive SUV.  Perhaps she had plans to take the immaculately clean monster off-roading that weekend?

STOP RIGHT THERE!  IT WAS A HYBRID.  DIANE KEATON WAS DRIVING A BIG BLACK TAHOE HYBRID.  DO NOT THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT DIANE KEATON IS ANOTHER CELEBRIHO HYPOCRITE SPOILED ROTTEN CRAZY OLD LADY FOR A MINUTE.

I watch her from behind as she is bent over the driver’s seat.  She was wearing a long coat so I could not check out her ass. She takes a while to scrounge up a few dollars together.  Apparently, she was having some trouble under the hood and one of the attendants was helping her, and she planned to give him a tip.  I had to say “Hello.” 
 
I loved her in Looking For Mr. Goodbar (and remember the lesson of that one; that type of lifestyle can get you killed).  Plus, all the Woodman movies she has made are awesome.  I was wondering if she had remembered the part about the calcium.  I made a joke about her on 6/30/06 that she would want to confront me about something and that Woody just wanted her to be quiet and remember what I said about the benefits of calcium. 

Calcium is good for your bones, and has been shown to act as a catalyst for your metabolic system.  Calcium should be a regular part of your diet.  A few months later, I see Diane in a commercial for a calcium face cream.  Apparently she does not want to get osteoporosis on her face.

Me: “Nice Vehicle.”
Diane: “Oh, really?  Thank you.”

Not a great reading, but better than Portman.

And then she slinks away to the front of the vehicle as I give her a knowing wave.  Give my regards to your friends, lady. 
 
You could have least THANKED ME FOR THE PART ABOUT THE CALCIUM

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