posted October 25, 2008
We are welcomed by the remains of the Redeemer as we reach the southern continent. It was very difficult to remove it completely but people occasionally break off a piece of it as a memento. Here we find a kind of “Nuevo Dia” kind of worship that is eerily familiar to me but not quite what God had intended. The symbol that graces most people’s homes here is always a rectangular frame consisting of broken stone wheels, ancient warriors in headdress, snakes, roses, chupacabras, and bones. The central figure depicts a smiling Jeanine Henriquez behind the wheel of an all black urban assault vehicle. Victoria Jaquez is seated next to her looking away. Behind them are numerous dark figures wearing fedoras and pointing guns at them. In larger pictures the UAV is held aloft by an enormous skeleton that has its ribs being split apart with a spear held in the teeth of a chupacabra. The large skeleton may or may not be me. Every where I look there is salsa.
We observe the people alternately cursing, blessing, and crossing themselves. Most of the time they are engaged in farming, using intoxicants, screaming, bowing their heads, and fornicating. Extremists will only engage in one of these activities their entire lives. They rely on numerous sacred texts to run their lives but apparently the most important is the biography of Ricky Ricardo. There is wide-spread trading of goods, services, jokes, gestures, and insults in this part of the globe. You cannot go anywhere without hearing music of some type in this area. This area seems most like home to me. But before I can ask the aliens to drop me off we decide to go back across the ocean to see what is going on in Africa.
The African Union is filled with turmoil. They have mostly decided that eventually one region of this continent will win out and then take over the rest of the world. I can best describe the figure they worship as having ghostly white hair, the face of Alicia Keys, the torso of Kim Kardashian, and Shakira’s lower body. This goddess is flanked by black men with their arms crossed carrying hatchets and automatic weapons. Sometimes they are wearing fur codpieces and sometimes they are completely nude.
Africa has decided that it is not interested in the rest of the world. They have become self sufficient and very protective over their own resources. They only trade with each other and shun all outside influences. When it is time to rid themselves of excessive waste they load up watercraft and set it adrift. It usually arrives in one of the former American continent zones. Africans have become thoroughly protective of their environment and no animal species is allowed to be killed off. Of all the areas on the planet I notice the people cooperate and coexist much better than the rest of the world. They look after each other and exhort each other to personify the noblest ideals humankind has ever known.
I tell the aliens in the spaceship I want to be transported down to the surface. They ask me if “I am sure.” I assure them that I am. Wearing my sarong bathing suit and a pair of Crocs I materialize in a clearing next to some gorillas and gazelles. Before I can complete the sentence “I come in Peace” many of them draw their weapons and begin shooting at me. Luckily, the aliens take me back aboard their spaceship before any of the bullets strike my body. “Phew, that was close” is my reaction and we collectively decide it is time for a vacation and we set course for the Deep Space Nine station to unpack before we spend two weeks on Raisa. Perhaps one day I will go back to Earth, but there really is no rush.