Shut Up, Jerry Falwell

Originally on MySpace May 11, 2008
VO: Jerry Falwell, please report to the office.
God: I want to talk to you.
Jerry: Oh, no!
God: What were you thinking?
Jerry: What do you mean?
God: “I am going to remove my shield of protection from America?”
Jerry: Well…
God: Did you see “V for Vendetta?”
Jerry: Uhmm…
God: The character that corresponds to you died.
Jerry: Well…
God: What does that tell you?
Jerry: Maybe I should have spoken to him?
God: Maybe?
Jerry: Well
God: Come on, Jerry!  Spill your guts!
Jerry: If I had spoken to him…
God: Spoken to whom?
Jerry: Benjamin, quien es Jesus, el R13, y el Salvador.
God: Good!
Jerry: He would have exposed me as a hypocrite, a man whose agenda did not coincide with yours?
God: Very good confession.
Jerry: I was not sure what to do.
God: People thought you were a man of faith.
Jerry: Well…
God: While your copy of the Bible and everyone else’s was changing, it should have occurred to you to talk to the Messiah, right?
Jerry: Well…
God: It has been changing since I put him there.  There have not been miracles of this kind ever recorded, right?
Jerry: Well…
God: Stand up straight and answer me!
Jerry: But the other people did not…
God: I am talking to you, Jerry.  I am not interested in what other people did.  If you knew so much it should have been obvious what was going on.  You should have sought him out!  Not make him come to you!
Jerry: I realize that now.  Your Kalki voice is frightening me.
God: You had to die to figure that out?
Jerry: I am a fool.
God: You sure are!  But Dr. Schuller has statues at Crystal Cathedral and refused him when he came there hat in hand and his secretary wrote him a stupid letter saying they spend a lot of money doing “his” work.  And that was AFTER the “geese incident.”
Jerry: No!
God: Yes!  Can you believe the audacity of that?
Jerry: Unfortunately, yes.
God: Have a look.
Jerry: I am trying, but it is very painful.
God: You now know why his sister and father have to die, right?
Jerry: Yes, Lord.
God: People have tried to kill him in the United States and looked the other way.  He smashed a rock on earth and it altered space.  He said “Hit me” and the people of earth received a warning. You could say that is a private joke between him and me. 
Jerry: I do not know what to say, Lord.
God: It is completely unacceptable to me the way people have treated my Son.  I could annihilate all of you 427,000 years ahead of schedule if I see fit to do so.
Jerry: I am guilty of it, too.
God: Good for your soul?
Jerry: Yes.  I am sorry I had to die to figure that out.
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