Why I Love My Car

Posted Date: : Mar 13, 2008 6:27 PM

There are many reasons.
I seem to get a lot of attention in it.  People seem to want to talk to me just because I own it.  The irony of being popular because of a car is astonishing.
I often ride my bicycle to work and I hear people stare at my car where it is parked.  People want to talk about the car all the time.  If they knew more about me they would be more impressed with me.  The car seems to be all they want to talk about.
The car costs quite a bit of money to maintain.  However, it has never asked me for a prenuptual agreement because it cannot tell me it wants to get married.  It has never asked me for something that did not exist before I bought it. 
My car has its eccentricities but it never talks back to me in an offensive way.  My car has never told me it does not believe me.  My car does not laugh at me.  My car does not play games with me.  My car never tells me it is too busy for me.
It does not have an ever-changing mind of its own.  It has the same mood all the time.  It is not possible for it to have my children so it cannot tell me it wants children and then change its mind afterward.  My car is not afraid of me.  It never cries for no apparent reason.
My car never gets jealous if I look at other cars or talk to people about their cars.  My car has never sold itself to another person.  My car never gives me advice.  My car does not tell me I am crazy, psychotic, or that I have a condition.
My car was modified by someone else.  It has never told me it wants to go back to that person.  It never tells me it wants to be driven more or driven less.
My car makes no promises to me and so it cannot break them.  My car can, even when it is not in its best condition, get me to where I need to go.  It never tells me it wants to go some place else instead of where I want to go.
My car has never asked me questions about other people, where I was when I was not in the car, or insane questions about the future.  My car does not blame other people for its problems or me for making honest mistakes.
My car does not tell me:
“Kick it up a notch.”
“You need to be stronger.”
“Everyone has a price.”
“You could be nicer.”
“You have to come from love.”
“I do not like those people.”
“Now over do it.”
“Why do you talk to her?”
“Do it again.”
“You have not done anyting with your life.”
“Why are you not more successful?”
“Choose between me and God.”
“Why did you listen to me?”
“Don’t you have something better to do?”
“I gave at the office.”
“I cannot believe you said that.”
“You work for me.”
“I am fat.”
“Did you bring me something?”
“What about me?”
“I do not know how.”
“Sorry, I was not listening.”
“I am worried.”
“How can you say that?”
Only after my car got stolen did it start to act up.  But if I treat it well, it really does not give me much trouble.  I have spent a lot of time with my car, lately.  I have been as frugal with it as I can be.  It always seems to respond well when I fix it and I have learned a lot about life with my experience with this car.
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